Updated: Jun 28, 2021
The phrase “keepin it real” in the black community is used as a reference to be honest and an open book. *See KSC Kendal St. Charles or Tribeofone) in many of her brilliant post “Keeping it Real and the sacrifice seat). To let people know you are “down” not phony and that your intention is to be genuin. However, for sovereign minded black women, we know that “keeping it real” can have some deadly consequences because we know this particular eco system is loathed to see black women move from being the designated surviver to a “well watered” woman enjoying her sovereignty.
After 10 maybe 15 years of highlighting the need for black women to exercise their autonomy and leave the toxic black community, we are finally seeing a shift in the paradigm. All though still a very small shift, it is still perceptible to those who have been paying attention. More to the point, it has ”shook” many who have been fighting this narrative tooth and nail. The desperation is manifesting itself into extreme vitriolic rants and threats of violence. It has also created many so called “high value” media gurus who use their platform to tribal shame and attack black women who have dared to think and move independently of black group think. It has also manifested itself into pure unadulterated violence against black women. The stats on sex trafficking, sexual violence from rejecting black males is at an all time high. The gender divide has become wider as more black women start to remove themselves from ”blackistan” that is mired in anti black womenhood.
In this hostile environment, it is in black women’s best interest to move silently and strategically. There’s no need for grand announcements. There’s no need for posturing out of an unmanaged ego. There’s no need to get into verbal masterbation sessions with these reprobate men who have nothing else to get off on aside from fighting with other grown black women on social media. Clearly, they stay on social media because they don’t have the proclivity to do anything else productive except worry about what black women are doing with their vaginas and who they are doing it with. Leave them to stew and marinate in their hate juice of their own making. You need to work on a plan. A plan that is imperceptible to anyone else.
Now..Here’s A Word for those who are smart enough to listen….. Keep your mouth shut!!!! Don’t share your exit plan with anyone. No girlfriend, co workers, paster, mother, daddy, brother, sister, daughter, son, bestie, dog, cat etc. All of them have the potential to sabotage either on purpose or by “accidentally” spilling the beans to a true hater. For the most part, they don’t want to see you leave. It has repercussions for them. This is what will make it hard for most of you. This is what will separate the women from the girls. We will find ourselves explaining our reasoning for leaving because we will feel a sense of obligation, guilt and fear. For the most part, these same people will exploit your feelings and use it against you. Consequently, they will sabotage your efforts. This is when keepin it real, keeps you the sacrificial scapegoat. Understand, some folks who refuse to accept what you are doing may have to be released. It’s a harsh reality, so understand what I’m saying and all the implications involved. No point in calling yourself leaving and you take along the very people who have invited the toxicity into your life. Stand firm on what you decide to do. Stop being wishy washy about it, or just resign to stay where you are because you love everyone else more than you love yourself. Real talk!
For those who want to move up and on… Start by redirecting your attention to other areas of your life in which you are not plagued by blackinstan group think or people. Don’t frequent places in which you know there is going to be people of a certain caliber that have the potential to create a dangerous situation. Divest you’re money away from entertainers who have disparaged black women on a regular bases. Stop going to concerts, shows, comedy clubs, events in which you are contributing to the lifestyle of those who have made a cottage industry off of denigrating black women. It’s important to understand that your mere presence, money, time and attention has a high value. Without them, everything withers. Removing your presence, attention, money and time from people places and things and redirect them into you will edify your life in so many ways. You will be able to cultivate new soil elsewhere. Something that you can build that enhances your life. Announcing your withdrawal is giving the enemy a heads up and an opportunity to derail, sabotage, and tribal shame you into submission. Wearing you down by attrition is a psychological strategy to keep you questioning and doubting yourself…..Which goes back to the first point… Keep your damn mouth shut. By the time anyone notices…. You will be up and out living your best life… and watching the city burn like Cercei from Game of Thrones. Reference to Post by KSC… Good luck!